Cast your votes now!
My sources inform me cheesecake falls into the tart family and thus the pie family.
Ice cream is a separate entity being neither cake nor pie.
This poll is cake or pie, stay focused people
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
U.S.S.A
COMRADES!!!!!!!!
Welcome to the United Socialist States of America.
Where what's mine is yours, and what's yours' used to be mine!
Time to get rid of that dusty, outdated document and live on a healthy diet of HOPE! and CHANGE! A Karl Marxy kind of change.
Where you will have the opportunity to make a government mandated patriotic charitible contribution to a cause the government feels is important.
OHHHH blessed day! the anointed one has come, now all of our problems are solved.
On a totally seperate topic did I mention I have started drinking?
Welcome to the United Socialist States of America.
Where what's mine is yours, and what's yours' used to be mine!
Time to get rid of that dusty, outdated document and live on a healthy diet of HOPE! and CHANGE! A Karl Marxy kind of change.
Where you will have the opportunity to make a government mandated patriotic charitible contribution to a cause the government feels is important.
OHHHH blessed day! the anointed one has come, now all of our problems are solved.
On a totally seperate topic did I mention I have started drinking?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Anchors Away
I recently finished a book that had on its' cover a small symbol that said "get caught reading at sea". I thought perhaps there would be some prize involved, so I quickly donned my finest sailor uniform and made for the shipyard. While en route I wondered who would catch me? Are there reading police on the high seas now. I imagine myself on deck, reading, when suddenly a bullhorn shatters the ocean breeze, you in the sailor suit, you are surrounded, put down the book and slowly step away. Excitedly I jump up screaming, what have I won! The bull horn responds, a trip to the brigg and a public defender. At this point I'm thinking, this isn't a very good contest it's not even Ed McMahon behind the bull horn, and all the vacationers around me are old, wrinkly, scantly clad and should be attired in nothing less than full winter gear, I don't care how hot it is. I'm suddenly tackled by several very large men, who after some time and several tasings are able to restrain me. I am then dragged to an interrogation room to explain my interest in a "vampire" named "Edward". "Its not my book", I exclaim, "someone set me up". "Really", the man behind the lamp croons in a french accent while smoking a cheap cigarette, "Then you won't mind if I tell you how it ends", "YOU BASTARD!! you wouldn't dare". I interrupt my own thought in mid stride and decide I better read the fine print on this whole "get caught reading at sea" notion half expecting it to read "get caught reading at sea"......"and do hard time". Turns out it was some cruise line promotion, and an ineffective one I might add as the promoted cruise was scheduled for 2004. Hope it was fun. Anyway It got me to thinking about how stupid people are...(I could just leave it there, but for purposes of this post we will narrow it down a bit)...with their vacations. There seems to be this drive in some portion of the population to do nothing, once they have achieved this goal they quickly grow restless and want something to do. Let's examine this drive to do nothing, and how it applies to vacations, which countless numbers do on a regular basis.
"I need a vacation!" one exclaims. I just want to go on a cruise or get a room with an ocean view and sit by the pool all day and do nothing. This is where they lose me. If you don't want to do anything try sitting on your couch all weekend vegetating, it doesn't cost you a thing. Instead one books an Oceanside hotel room in some exotic country for a few days and in their time there sees little more than their room, the pool, the inside of a book and the back of their eyelids, all at the expense of thousands of dollars. I am a big reader, I'm always reading a book, but when I'm on vacation reading takes a back seat to whatever adventures the vacation offers that are not usually available to me,(legal adventures people, lets keep it legal). Have we forgotten how to have a good time(legally). I am often asked the question "what do you do with your days off? asked by a perplexed inquirer who can't seem to fathom what they would do with themselves if they had a few days off. I now answer this question with the following, "lots of things" it depends on the season, the day and so on, after smoking the mushrooms that grow in my backyard entire days seem to vanish, but I rarely find myself bored. I have become convinced that we are loosing our innovation, our sense of adventure, does anybody have a hobby anymore? If you have children I withdraw the question. At the end of this vacation our example usually comes home tired of their vacation and just wants to get back home to their routine. The routine is safe, soft, snugly and from what I'm hearing, boring. If I may be so bold, if you want to "do nothing" throw up a hammock in the back yard and have at it. But if you going "on vacation" come back with stories, pictures, scars and foreign currency, but lets leave the diseases where we found them, unless they are temporary and particularly funny. when you next have a few days off I expect something better than "I'm bored", dig deep and report back to this blog thus inspiring others to make the most of their days.
Alas, this probably won't inspire anybody, but it did keep you busy for a few minutes.
"I need a vacation!" one exclaims. I just want to go on a cruise or get a room with an ocean view and sit by the pool all day and do nothing. This is where they lose me. If you don't want to do anything try sitting on your couch all weekend vegetating, it doesn't cost you a thing. Instead one books an Oceanside hotel room in some exotic country for a few days and in their time there sees little more than their room, the pool, the inside of a book and the back of their eyelids, all at the expense of thousands of dollars. I am a big reader, I'm always reading a book, but when I'm on vacation reading takes a back seat to whatever adventures the vacation offers that are not usually available to me,(legal adventures people, lets keep it legal). Have we forgotten how to have a good time(legally). I am often asked the question "what do you do with your days off? asked by a perplexed inquirer who can't seem to fathom what they would do with themselves if they had a few days off. I now answer this question with the following, "lots of things" it depends on the season, the day and so on, after smoking the mushrooms that grow in my backyard entire days seem to vanish, but I rarely find myself bored. I have become convinced that we are loosing our innovation, our sense of adventure, does anybody have a hobby anymore? If you have children I withdraw the question. At the end of this vacation our example usually comes home tired of their vacation and just wants to get back home to their routine. The routine is safe, soft, snugly and from what I'm hearing, boring. If I may be so bold, if you want to "do nothing" throw up a hammock in the back yard and have at it. But if you going "on vacation" come back with stories, pictures, scars and foreign currency, but lets leave the diseases where we found them, unless they are temporary and particularly funny. when you next have a few days off I expect something better than "I'm bored", dig deep and report back to this blog thus inspiring others to make the most of their days.
Alas, this probably won't inspire anybody, but it did keep you busy for a few minutes.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Fire up the grill!
I know, I know, two posts in one week? Sheer madness. I should be in bed, it's way past my bed time, but it's all Connie G's fault. She's got me all inspired with her smoothie recipe blog, so I thought I would post one of my own. Folks often ask me if I cook. Occasionally is my response. With summer having arrived I have fired up the grill and composed a glorious concoction, sure to satisfy.
I started with two wrangler hot dogs, cooked on the grill while I adjusted the sprinklers, (adjusting sprinklers optional), I then dressed two buns with mayo and mustard and placed the piping hot wranglers on the aforementioned bun, topping each with two tomato slices (salmonella free, of course), and then topped all this with spicy chili, (also heated while adjusting sprinklers). As you might imagine it required a knife and fork to eat. I also had an assortment of fruit on the side making a nice round meal. I don't have a fancy picture to post but I'm working on it. I hope this provides some fabulous summer feasting.
I started with two wrangler hot dogs, cooked on the grill while I adjusted the sprinklers, (adjusting sprinklers optional), I then dressed two buns with mayo and mustard and placed the piping hot wranglers on the aforementioned bun, topping each with two tomato slices (salmonella free, of course), and then topped all this with spicy chili, (also heated while adjusting sprinklers). As you might imagine it required a knife and fork to eat. I also had an assortment of fruit on the side making a nice round meal. I don't have a fancy picture to post but I'm working on it. I hope this provides some fabulous summer feasting.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Soapbox
Wow that last post got a lot of attention. Thanks to Connie G for the new background and the post. It seems Ali knows me well, However I am a bit of a closet cowboy, please no brokeback jokes, and p.s its Aloha Friday, hop on board.
Comrades!, recently those glimmering beacons of incompetence we call congress, passed, and the President signed, an energy bill that among other things, bans the use of incandescent light bulbs (ILB) over the coming years. All in the name of saving the planet from that evil (and fictitious) warlord, GLOBAL WARMING (the greatest hoax ever). So what? you say. Ponder this small point, your government just told you which light bulbs you can and can't use in your own home. Did somebody say socialism? Anyway in a completely unrelated story NBC has been hyping there green week promotions in an effort to, you guessed it, save the planet from that evil (and fictitious) warlord GLOBAL WARMING (the greatest hoax ever). Thank goodness for NBC, I also saw an ad for fluorescent light bulbs (FLB), you know the kind we'll be forced to use when they take away the ILB'S. In another completely unrelated story general electric, the company that makes FLB's, also owns NBC, huh that's neat.
Getting back to our Marxist light bulb ban, the defenders of this egregious violation of liberty will sing you a sweet little tune that goes something like this. Fluorescent light bulbs are 70% more efficient that incandescent light bulbs thus reducing the amount of coal we burn to create electricity and fewer polar bears that burst into flame every time you turn on your lights. sounds great! whats the down side, oh um these FLB's contain small amounts of mercury. Excuse me did you say mercury,isn't that toxic? yea but its a small amount and only dangerous if the bulb breaks. Whewwwww! that's a relief I don't think I know anyone who has had a light bulb break in there house. This fearless advocate of the nanny state will then say something like, mercury is found in coal and when we burn coal its released into the air so by using FLB's we burn less coal and the total amount of mercury placed in the environment is less than burning coal for ILB's. That's great except that now I have the actual toxic element in my home, yea but it's a very small amount. Perhaps by now your asking what happens when (not if) the FLB breaks in my house, well that's simple. Open the windows, sweep, don't vacuum, and place the pieces in a sealable plastic bag and dispose of at a household hazardous waste collection site. don't place it in your garbage, oh yea if it breaks on carpet you might want to cut out that piece of carpet. Wow that seems like allot of work for a stupid light bulb, say what happens if I inhale mercury? Neurological damage including tremors and memory loss, liver ,kidney and heart damage,........ but there's only a small amount in the bulbs.
Just peachy, what nobody seems to have addressed is how this mercury from coal affects Joe citizen. So we put less mercury into the air by burning less coal with FLB's. What is that mercury currently responsible for. Do we have data that tells us this mercury if causes illness or is it such a small amount that it's not really doing much anyway, except acting as an excuse to implement socialism.
The bottom line is capitalism works, you don't like ILB's, fine invent a better product. FLB's have been on the market but there not very popular because there much more expensive, they take forever to turn on, (have you ever used one of these things, set your alarm early to flip the light switch and by the time you get up the light will be on), and the light they emit make you feel like your in a warehouse, if you happen to work in a warehouse then maybe this isn't such a big deal. Oh yea the also contain MERCURY! ........but only in small amounts. Here's a pearl. The EPA says that public can contribute to reducing environmental mercury exposure by buying mercury FREE products thereby reducing demand. GET OUT!! As for me I will be buying truckloads of ILB's and storing them in my hidden underground lair, taking my chances with melting icecaps, rising oceans and spontaneous combustion so that when I flip my light switch the light turns on immediately and when it burns out I throw it in my garbage without the risk of any further brain damage, the amount I have is sufficient. If the bulb breaks I shall laugh in the face of the sharp shards. The good news is a congressman from the peoples' republic of California is introducing a bill to overturn this ban.
Final thought: How much coal do you think GE/NBC burns to light up their sets and broadcast around the world everyday, I'm going to guess more than the light bulbs in my house.
This post is provided as a public service reminding you every time you exhale you release toxic carbon into the atmosphere, killing polar bears, melting ice caps and decaying your own soul, so breath less you hatemonger.
Comrades!, recently those glimmering beacons of incompetence we call congress, passed, and the President signed, an energy bill that among other things, bans the use of incandescent light bulbs (ILB) over the coming years. All in the name of saving the planet from that evil (and fictitious) warlord, GLOBAL WARMING (the greatest hoax ever). So what? you say. Ponder this small point, your government just told you which light bulbs you can and can't use in your own home. Did somebody say socialism? Anyway in a completely unrelated story NBC has been hyping there green week promotions in an effort to, you guessed it, save the planet from that evil (and fictitious) warlord GLOBAL WARMING (the greatest hoax ever). Thank goodness for NBC, I also saw an ad for fluorescent light bulbs (FLB), you know the kind we'll be forced to use when they take away the ILB'S. In another completely unrelated story general electric, the company that makes FLB's, also owns NBC, huh that's neat.
Getting back to our Marxist light bulb ban, the defenders of this egregious violation of liberty will sing you a sweet little tune that goes something like this. Fluorescent light bulbs are 70% more efficient that incandescent light bulbs thus reducing the amount of coal we burn to create electricity and fewer polar bears that burst into flame every time you turn on your lights. sounds great! whats the down side, oh um these FLB's contain small amounts of mercury. Excuse me did you say mercury,isn't that toxic? yea but its a small amount and only dangerous if the bulb breaks. Whewwwww! that's a relief I don't think I know anyone who has had a light bulb break in there house. This fearless advocate of the nanny state will then say something like, mercury is found in coal and when we burn coal its released into the air so by using FLB's we burn less coal and the total amount of mercury placed in the environment is less than burning coal for ILB's. That's great except that now I have the actual toxic element in my home, yea but it's a very small amount. Perhaps by now your asking what happens when (not if) the FLB breaks in my house, well that's simple. Open the windows, sweep, don't vacuum, and place the pieces in a sealable plastic bag and dispose of at a household hazardous waste collection site. don't place it in your garbage, oh yea if it breaks on carpet you might want to cut out that piece of carpet. Wow that seems like allot of work for a stupid light bulb, say what happens if I inhale mercury? Neurological damage including tremors and memory loss, liver ,kidney and heart damage,........ but there's only a small amount in the bulbs.
Just peachy, what nobody seems to have addressed is how this mercury from coal affects Joe citizen. So we put less mercury into the air by burning less coal with FLB's. What is that mercury currently responsible for. Do we have data that tells us this mercury if causes illness or is it such a small amount that it's not really doing much anyway, except acting as an excuse to implement socialism.
The bottom line is capitalism works, you don't like ILB's, fine invent a better product. FLB's have been on the market but there not very popular because there much more expensive, they take forever to turn on, (have you ever used one of these things, set your alarm early to flip the light switch and by the time you get up the light will be on), and the light they emit make you feel like your in a warehouse, if you happen to work in a warehouse then maybe this isn't such a big deal. Oh yea the also contain MERCURY! ........but only in small amounts. Here's a pearl. The EPA says that public can contribute to reducing environmental mercury exposure by buying mercury FREE products thereby reducing demand. GET OUT!! As for me I will be buying truckloads of ILB's and storing them in my hidden underground lair, taking my chances with melting icecaps, rising oceans and spontaneous combustion so that when I flip my light switch the light turns on immediately and when it burns out I throw it in my garbage without the risk of any further brain damage, the amount I have is sufficient. If the bulb breaks I shall laugh in the face of the sharp shards. The good news is a congressman from the peoples' republic of California is introducing a bill to overturn this ban.
Final thought: How much coal do you think GE/NBC burns to light up their sets and broadcast around the world everyday, I'm going to guess more than the light bulbs in my house.
This post is provided as a public service reminding you every time you exhale you release toxic carbon into the atmosphere, killing polar bears, melting ice caps and decaying your own soul, so breath less you hatemonger.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
